networking jokes thread

[Kayla Smith]

What is Africa's interface to the internet?

[b]eth[/b]opia[b]0[/b]

[fred_deakin]

[b]eth0[/b]pia would work, too.

[Kayla Smith]

I like your version better. Also working on this one:

How did the drug addict make his internet go faster?

He started using [b]m[/b]eth0.

Bleh, today isn't a great day for jokes.

[John LeMieux]

Unix: You shoot yourself in the foot.
DOS: You keep running up against the one-bullet barrier.
MS-Windows: The gun blows up in your hand.
Windows NT: The gun is so huge and unwieldy that you have to keep swapping it from one hand to the other.
OS/2: The gun and the bullet aren't speaking to each other any more.
Mac Finder: It's easy to shoot yourself in the foot -- just point and shoot.
AIX: You can shoot yourself in the foot with either a .38 or a .45.
IRIX: The Terminator shoots you in the foot. A T-Rex bites your other foot.
SVR4: The gun isn't compatible with your foot.
Minix: You learn how to shoot yourself in the foot with a Saturday Night Special.
Linux: Generous programmers from around the world all join forces to help you shoot yourself in the foot for free.
HURD: You'll be able to shoot yourself in the foot Real Soon Now.
VM/CMS: IBM shoots you in the foot.
VMS: \FOOT\ ambiguous: supply more toes.
AMIGA-DOS: The gun works pretty well, except that few people use one and it's impossible to find bullets.
Mach: The bullets work pretty well, but they don't make guns for it any more.
Cray: You shoot yourself in the foot with an Uzi.
MasPar: You shoot all of your friends' feet simultaneously.

Anonymous

[Tyler Bahn]

Found this collection on the net:

Q. What do you call a large Network Address?

A. A Big-MAC

Q. What do you call a network card in heaven?

A. A Saint-NIC

Q. What is a network card’s favorite basketball team?

A. The New York NICs

Q. What kind of change does a network card carry in its pocket?

A. NICels

Q. What is a network card’s favorite TV Channel?

A. NICalodean

Q. What does a network card like to watch at night on TV?

A. NIC-at-Night

Q. While the user is streaming Twisted Sister from Napster through the network card, the network card is listening to its own music group. What is the music group called?

A. Twisted Pair

Q. What do you get when you cross a blood-sucking insect with a data-hungry network card?

A. a TIC

Q. What did the network card say to the other network card that was cussing?

A. Ticks and Tones may interrupt my phones, but cords will never hurt me.

[Jonathan Simms]

The ABC's of Unix

A is for awk which runs like a snail, and
B is for biff which reads all your mail.

C is for cc as hackers recall, while
D is for dd the command that does all.

E is for emacs which rebinds your keys, and
F is for fsck which rebuilds your trees.

G is for grep a clever detective, while
H is for halt which may seem defective.

I is for indent which rarely amuses, and
J is for join which nobody uses.

K is for kill which makes you the boss, while
L is for lex which is missing from DOS.

M is for more from which less was begot, and
N is for nice which it really is not.

O is for od which prints out things nice, while
P is for passwd which reads in strings twice.

Q is for quota a Berkeley-type fable, and
R is for ranlib for sorting ar table.

S is for spell which attempts to belittle, while
T is for true which does very little.

U is for uniq which is used after sort, and
V is for vi which is hard to abort.

W is for whoami which tells you your name, while
X is, well, X of dubious fame.

Y is for yes which makes an impression, and
Z is for zcat which handles compression.